Tuesday, March 23, 2010

One man's trash is another man's treasure. My journey to SheSpeaks.

I love thrift stores. And yard sales. Oh, and consignment shops too. Searching for deals on everything from picture frames to boys shoes to a practically new Liz Claiborne handbag is a thrill for me. And I can't keep my finds to myself. One of my favorite stores is the Goodwill near my home. I recently bought 5 skirts for $20 - $4 a piece! When I was complimented on my "new" chocolate-brown skirt I exclaimed, "Goodwill. 4 bucks!" And I would proceed to share the details of my savvy shopping excursion. One woman's castaways is truly a thrifty gal's treasure.

Recently I was challenged with writing a post on my blog to win a scholarship to this year's SheSpeaks Conference. I have attended this fabulous weekend conference twice now - in 2006 for the Speaking track and just last year for the Writing track. God has blessed me with a desire to share his word and how he has worked in my life. If I had been told 10 years ago that God would use me to encourage and inspire other women, I would have mimicked Elaine from Seinfeld and cried, "Get out!" Ten years ago I was in a marriage that was literally sucking the life out of me - there was no thought of encouraging others. It was all I could do to care for myself and my two children. I was in a verbally abusive relationship and resigned to just getting through the day.

But God had plans for me. He knows me and loves me. I was created with a purpose - to glorify him. I'm amazed when I reflect on how God guided me through that difficult time. And I continue to be amazed at what he is doing in my life today.

Which brings me back to my challenge. My first experience four years ago at the SheSpeaks conference was life-changing. I was surrounded by women who had their own stories. Women who, like me, felt God gently calling them to share their experience. The weekend was filled with main group sessions featuring fantastic speakers who shared their hearts - how God has used their lives as a testimony to his grace, love and forgiveness. The smaller, more specific sessions were full of practical application on how to move into this wonderful new adventure. At the time I was focused on the Speaking aspect of sharing my story. Last year's conference was focused on putting my story into words. Spending those three days learning, listening and praying with God-filled women and hearing how he is using them to reach others was both humbling and exciting.

As I thought about my entry to win a scholarship to this year's conference, I began to think. Sharing our stories - through Speaking or Writing - is a lot like shopping at a garage sale or a thrift store. Our lives have a history, a past - lessons we've learned. We may think our stories are old and worthless - ready to toss into the "yard sale pile" - like our son's worn out baseball glove. But many of our stories can be a blessing to someone. Just like someone could use that old chenille blanket you've had for years, your story can bring warmth and comfort to someone struggling with similar issues.

I know that God is preparing me to share my story with other women. Specifically single moms. I thank God for Proverbs 31 and the SheSpeaks conference. It's an opportunity to learn, grow and prepare the message and story God has allowed me to experience. Do you feel called to share your testimony with others? If so, check out http://www.proverbs31.org/.

Your story may be a treasure just waiting to be found.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Trusting God

Six years ago we lived out in the boonies - seriously, the middle of nowhere: St. George, GA. A one-light town about 20 miles north of Macclenny, FL. It is peaceful, beautiful - God's country. We loved it. For a season. Things changed when my son turned 5 and was going to start school. At the time, I worked in Jacksonville, FL and had over an hour commute. It was time to move to town.

I made some flyers: house for sale, 3/2, fireplace, two acres, etc.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

I knew God wanted me to be closer to my work and the kids' schools. By this time school had started and we were getting home around 7pm each night. We had a buyer over the summer but after everything was said and done, I would've paid them to buy my house! I was trying to make something happen instead of letting God do what only He can do.

I began to pray: Lord, you know what's best for my family. I will trust you with the sale of my home. I know you have a plan for us. I will wait for you. P.S. But PLEASE send a buyer soon!

Each day I would say this prayer - and I would trust God.

After the endless summer and well into fall, God finally did send a buyer. It was the weekend after Thanksgiving when I received a phone call from a gentlemen interested in my home. Yippee! The only caveat: he needed to sell his house first. I politely asked about his home which boasted a fireplace, pool, 3 bedrooms, screened-in porch and a room for an office - everything I wanted in my "dream home." I became more and more intrigued and told him I'd love to see it.

Fast forward to January 30, 2004 when I closed on the purchase of my new home in Jacksonville, FL AND sold my home in Georgia - all on the same day. The fella God sent back in November did indeed buy my house. And I bought his!

Amazing things can happen when you trust God. Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It's not easy to "let go and let God." We often feel the need to hold on tight, believing we can make things happen. There was such a sense of freedom when I began to trust God each day. He knows just what we need, when we need it! I encourage you to trust God today - for your future.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Life and Death

"Dallas, your dad has gone to heaven," I told my son. It was the most difficult sentence I think I've ever had to say. My ex-husband was killed in a car accident the night before and I had to share the news with my son. His son. After a few minutes of tears and questions, Dallas said, "I wish I could've seen him one last time."

Losing a loved one is never easy. If the loss is unexpected it's especially hard. If they were sick, we are glad they aren't in pain anymore. But we still wish we could see them one last time. We wish we could tell them how much we loved them, give them a kiss or a big hug.

Oh, intellectually, I know death is a part of life. And if they knew Jesus, I know I will see them again. It's the emotional, human part of me that doesn't understand. It's so weird that I won't see them on this earth again.

A former co-worker recently died. A dear couple I knew from the baseball field was tragically killed in a car accident. My friend and former preacher passed away in his sleep. The recent deaths of so many celebrities has been a shock to everybody.

But in the midst of all the sadness, I remember my friends. I think about how blessed I was to have known them. The memories of laughter and fun give me comfort and peace and bring a smile to my face. They touched my life - in big and small ways. They touched the lives of so many others. I pray for the ones they left behind. I pray that I will live my life as if each day were my last. We don't know when our time is up. Only God does. The Lord who created each of us holds the future. I am so thankful this time on earth is not "the end." But rather the beginning of an eternity with the Almighty God. Isn't that cool?!

We don't know whose lives we will touch while we're here. Our life and how we live it matters. When you're gone, who will consider it a blessing to have known you? Be a blessing to someone today. And when you think about the friends and loved ones you've lost, remember the special moments you had with them, the love and the laughter. Remember to smile.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Return Policy

As a Christian, I know God has a plan for me. So when things don't go according to plan - my plan, that is - I try to find God's lesson in the situation. This story is a bit long, but I was reminded of an important truth.

A while back, I needed to return an item I bought at a local bookstore. The first time I brought it in I was hoping to get the cash back and knew I would need the receipt. I just had to find it. While the cashier patiently waited for me, I proceeded to create a heaping mess on the counter: clipped coupons, two pens, some change, lipsticks (who needs four lipsticks in one purse?) and random slips of paper and other receipts. But not the one I needed.

"You can get store credit," the helpful, young clerk suggested.
"No. I know I have the receipt here somewhere," I replied while still digging through my purse. At this point, the contents of my purse completely covered the countertop. The clerk continued to smile while customers began lining up behind me. "Huh. I guess I don't have it. (duh) I'll just take this back and look for it at home," I managed to squeak, as I was scooping everything back INTO my purse. I knew I had that receipt... somewhere.

Unfortunately, I never did find the receipt. Knowing I would only get store credit, I headed back to the store to return my item. As expected, when I told the clerk I didn't have my receipt she said, "That's ok, you can get store credit." Great. By the way, I love this bookstore. In fact, I don't think I've met a bookstore I don't like. Seriously, it's like the library - I could spend hours here. But after shopping for about 15 minutes the store manager approached me and informed me that she could not accept my return without a receipt because it was an electronics item.

"This policy is clearly stated on the receipt," she said. I later looked at a receipt and it does NOT say electronics, but rather "software". My item included a CD-ROM. What she said next, however, seemed more likely... "We really couldn't put your item back on the shelf in the condition it's in." Aha! Now I understand.

You see, between Visit #1 and Visit #2, the box remained in my vehicle and, um, did get a little banged up. And, the plastic tabs that seal the box had come undone and somehow attracted dirt, sand and small bits of fuzz. I could see her point.

That evening I stopped at Wal-mart and picked up some packing tape, brought my box home and "cleaned 'er up". Although I understood the manager's position, the fact was, I did purchase this item, it was brand-new and I expected a refund (or store credit, which was totally ok with me). My plan was to return to the store with my "refreshed" item and discuss the situation with the manager. I fully expected our conversation to include me explaining how much money I spent at this store, did they want to lose a customer, blah, blah, blah. I wanted to stand up for myself but still be humble. I prayed for God to give me the right attitude and the right words.

So.

I go BACK to the bookstore, carrying my item and this time the cashier asked straightaway, "Return?"
"Yes," I answered, "but I don't have a receipt."
"No problem, you can get store credit."

O...kay... I was a bit nervous to accept this after my last visit. I figured I'd have to talk to someone. But nope - no questions, no manager finding me squatting in the aisle looking at the books on the lower shelf to tell me that my box wasn't "pretty enough." Granted, the box did look better. They could easily restock it. The guitar, instructions and CD were still inside - untouched - as before. And now, because the package looked better, everything was peachy-keen.

Remember the beginning of this story? I'm trying to learn what God is teaching me in these types of situations. Hmmm... I walked into this bookstore with an "ugly" box that the manager deemed unworthy. But after I cleaned up the outside and went back with a "prettier" package, it was suddenly ok to accept. Even though the contents inside remained the same.

I was reminded of this scripture:
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment... Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." - Peter 1:3-4

God does not judge our outer appearance like we do. Instead of focusing so much on the package, we need to remember what is beautiful (and lasting) is found inside. Lord, help me not to get so caught up in outward appearances. Judging myself and others by the world's measure. Help me to remember true beauty comes from the inside. Amen.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Growing Pains

This is the season for graduates – high school, kindergarten, college. It's a time to celebrate and recognize accomplishments. A formal transition – moving on to the next chapter of life, be it college or first grade.

My son recently celebrated his fifth grade graduation. For me, this celebration was bittersweet. On the one hand, I was so excited for my son – he successfully completed six years of elementary school. We made some lifelong friends along the way and have many wonderful memories. On the other hand, my baby is growing up! He's not going to need his mama quite like he used to. I know, I know – cut the strings already!

I've been here before. My daughter graduated from high school in 2005. I can't believe it's been 4 years! I still remember my own high school graduation. The feeling of freedom: no more school, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks. Now I can do what I want to do! It was no different for her – that sense of freedom and no more rules. Reality was coming soon! But not before some growing pains – for both of us.

That summer after her graduation was a tough one for me. She didn't have to do what I said anymore – and although there were still rules at home, she was 18 and technically an adult. I wanted my daughter to learn from my mistakes. I'd been there, done that after all. I had big plans for her! She wasn't particularly interested in what I told her she should do. As a result, I learned to suggest certain things. For example: "What do you think about going to school close to home? Wouldn't that be smart – no rent?" Etc., etc. Basically, leading her in a way that was in line with my experience. (That approach worked, by the way, for any of you with new graduates!) The road to becoming an adult is paved with many choices. We all have decisions to make, big and small. In the process, we grow and learn.

I remember talking with my mom during this time and generally complaining that my daughter wasn't doing what I told her to do. She reminded me that I'm the person I am today because of the choices I made. The lessons I learned the hard way. The trials and tribulations we are all guaranteed. My daughter must learn from her own mistakes. Just like I did. It was during this summer that I was also reminded: God loves her even more than I do – and he has big plans for her too!

As my son prepares for middle school, I think of all the plans God has for him. How much He loves him – even more than I do. My son will make his share of mistakes and (hopefully!) learn from them. Like my daughter. Like myself. Like all of us.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

According to THEIR needs

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. — Ephesians 4: 29

I've read this scripture a million times (well, that may be an exaggeration!) but a bunch of times anyway and it just hit me the other day: ". . . but only what is helpful . . . according to their needs . . ."

I have two children, a 21 yr. old daughter and a 10 yr. old son. God gave them both a very unique personality - which was evident from birth! My daughter is much more strong-willed while my son is more sensitive. When Christie was about 13, I realized she did not respond to situations the same way I might. For example, if she was punished (which didn't happen often) she just shut down - no talking, discussion, nothing. Basically, she didn't appear remorseful! If I got in trouble as a kid I was asking my mom what I could do to make things better - pretty much sucking up - trying to make things better so my mom wouldn't be mad at me :)

When I read Ephesians 4:29 recently, it struck me that as I pray for others and lift them up with my words and actions I should be more aware of what THEY need - not always what I want for them. My prayers for my children are now focused on what God would have me do - for them . . . according the THEIR needs and what He has planned for them.

God has a plan for all of us - my prayer is that His will be done. I'm going to do my part by being sensitive to how God will use me to meet the needs of others. May God bless you today according to YOUR NEEDS!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

YOU are glorious!

My new favorite song, Everything Glorious, by the David Crowder band - is a wonderful reminder that WE ARE GLORIOUS! Here's a sample of the lyrics:

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

It seems silly (and some people may not relate) but not everyone realizes that GOD created us just like He did the grass and the flowers, the sunset and the sea. We marvel at His creation daily but we look in the mirror and curse what we see. HE made us too! We are His creation :) I have struggled with my self-image — how I look, what do people see, will they like me . . . Thankfully, through God's grace and my own growth and maturity — I see who He created and am at peace with who I am. HIS!! Yea :) It takes time and TRUST and wisdom and more trust (and PATIENCE) and prayer and trust (that again!) that God is working out His plan for you and through you.

There's an old saying: Be patient, God's not finished with me yet!

My son learned this scripture at 3 yrs. old and it's a wonderful reminder of God's gloriousness (yes, that is a word!):

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
— Psalm 139: 14